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Manus Report Recommends Less Beating

27 May 2014 By Reg Moreton

Immigration Minister Scott Morrison yesterday publicised the findings of an independent report into the February 2014 violence on Manus Island, recommending that security personnel “should seek to reduce where possible the frequency and severity with which they beat asylum seekers.”

Young To Absorb Nutrients From Air

24 May 2014 By Reg Moreton

Young unemployed people facing the prospect of receiving no dole for six months should simply learn to absorb nutrients from the air, according to Social Services Minister Kevin Andrews. “Evolution does give them that option.” It was revealed as part of the recent federal budget that from 2015, people up to 30 years old will […]

Frances Abbott Pony May Have Been Gift

23 May 2014 By Reg Moreton

Controversy has erupted surrounding the pony obtained by Frances Abbott during her time at the Whitehouse Institute of Design. The Institute claims that they had no knowledge of any ponies, and indeed would have had trouble telling a pony from a horse unless the two were standing right next to each other.

Daily Telegraph: We Hate People

22 May 2014 By Reg Moreton

Confusion today when the Sydney-based Daily Telegraph ran with the headline “We hate people”. The front page of the daily proclaimed that people “are ugly and stupid and they smell bad,” while additional articles inside the edition decried them as being sweaty, annoying, and loud. Various editorials opined that “some people were worse than others,” […]

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While these articles may contain genuine quotes and facts, they are still only political satire, so don't lose hope yet.  Find out more about the Liberal Times here.

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