Rumours abound today that Prime Minister Tony Abbott may be taking a break from politics to take his magic act on the road later this year.
Shorten Victim of Government Appropriation
Prime Minister Tony Abbott has been branded an “overgrown man-child” for appropriating seats from Labor MPs while travelling on his private jet to attend a bipartisan political event in Sydney.
Turnbull Takes Ball, Goes Home
Word on the political grapevine today is that Malcolm Turnbull has taken his ball and gone home, leaving the other Liberals with no game to play. Andrew Bolt and Alan Jones have responded with calls for a dacking.
Shorten Accused of Plane Sabotage
In an unexpected move, defence minister David Johnston has accused Opposition leader Bill Shorten of personally sabotaging the Prime Ministerial RAAF jet.
Schools To Replace Counsellors With Clowns
Tony Abbott confirmed today that under the provisions of the recent federal budget, schools would have the option of hiring a clown to cheer students up but would not have the option to hire any other sort of counsellor or youth worker. “There is a crisis in today’s youth,” Abbott stated, “and I believe this can only be solved with laughter.”