Liberal Times

We Live in Liberal Times

  • Home
  • A Fistful of Dollars
  • In the Media
  • In Session
  • Musical Chairs
  • Socially Equitable

Joyce’s Staff Assure His Place in History

28 October 2014 By Reg Moreton

Joyce giving Gurindji land back to its traditional owners (1975).

Joyce gives Gurindji land back to its traditional owners (1975).

It has been confirmed today that Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce’s staff changed Hansard records without his knowledge after Labor accused him of misleading parliament.

Joyce has admitted that his staff changed his reference to “over” 4,000 people applying for government drought assistance to read “nearly” 4,000. They also added a line that wasn’t originally in Joyce’s speech, saying that “recipient[s] of the Interim Farm Household Allowance” would also receive the assistance.

Following the revelation, parliamentary staff went back to check archived Hansard transcripts to see whether any other unauthorised edits had slipped through.

As a result of the investigation, doubt has been raised over the accuracy of several entries in Hansard, most notably:

  • Mr Joyce’s call for harsher gun control laws following the 1996 Port Arthur shootings;
  • Mr Joyce’s vital input into the passing of the sex discrimination act of 1984;
  • The Joyce government’s dismantling of the White Australia policy in 1966; and
  • Mr Joyce’s input into the introduction of Australia’s first maternity allowance in 1912.

Opposition leader Bill Shorten brought up the matter in parliament this morning, asking for a full inquiry into the transgression and stating that it was one of the most serious perversions of the parliamentary process he had ever witnessed.

According to Hansard, however, what he said was, “I’m a big girly girl and I look stupid and I say stupid things all the time. Blah blah blah.”

Prime Minister Tony Abbott has assured the press that Hansard remains accurate and has described Mr Joyce simply as “a quiet achiever”.

“He’s always been there in the background, like all Liberals, effecting real change without people really realising the full impact of his input.”

“Without Mr Joyce there wouldn’t even be an Australian nation, considering his role in the federation of the states in 1901.”

“I should know: I was right there alongside him. If you’ll check Hansard, you’ll see it’s all true.”

Related Articles

US Requests Abbott Jump Off Cliff

Government to Stop Piracy by Blocking Entire Internet

Abbott Awards Knighthood to Pope

George Brandis Entirely Redacted

Libs to Raise Profile of Opposite Day

Abbott Touts Big Future of Australian Coal

Abbott: Braveheart No Friend of Freedom

Turnbull Takes Ball, Goes Home

Abbott Renames Office "Minister For Chicks"

Frances Abbott Pony May Have Been Gift

Anger Over "What Are You Wearing?" Comment

PM Abbott Unveils New Facial Expression

What the…?

While these articles may contain genuine quotes and facts, they are still only political satire, so don't lose hope yet.  Find out more about the Liberal Times here.

ADVERTISEMENT

Find Us on Facebook

Liberal Times

Receive articles via email

Recent Articles

Government Announces -5% Emissions Reduction Target

15 July 2015

Abbott Goes Nuclear in War on Error

11 July 2015

Government to Stop Piracy by Blocking Entire Internet

23 June 2015

Hockey Encourages Youth to Create Paradoxes

14 June 2015

Abbott Cops to Good Government/Bad Government Ploy

11 February 2015

PM Rejects Ice Bucket Leadership Challenge

3 February 2015

Copyright © 2026 · Content by Reg Moreton, a true blue, fair dunkum Aussie bloke (strewth)   ·   Website by Inveress