The front page of the daily proclaimed that people “are ugly and stupid and they smell bad,” while additional articles inside the edition decried them as being sweaty, annoying, and loud. Various editorials opined that “some people were worse than others,” but that, in general, “everyone sucks”.
Small children in particular were noted for their annoyingness, especially those who wouldn’t be quiet or calm down when asked.
Cynicism ran high on social media sites, where the paper’s anti-person diatribe was seen to fall in line with the Liberal party’s recent anti-person budget.
It wasn’t all doom and gloom, however: a footnote on page 27 noted that Viggo Mortensen was “OK”.